alright

love sick // banks

i think i will post the current song i am listening to because idk just because i guess. okay so i’m honestly not sure where to begin because i am truly just letting my mind flow into my fingers right now and i just know that i have been wanting to do this forever. not to be lame as fuck, but i guess i will start with the relatable shit.
i am alone. in all aspects. and it is not basic ass typical teenage angst. i am genuinely alone and i honestly cannot cope with it any longer and i am to my breaking point. i want to be done, just so so beyond done with everything, but i also want to be so aware of everything and experience all kinds of feelings and, unfortunately to say, emotions. i fucking hate emotions.. hate is an emotion i guess, but i’m sure you know what i mean okay. i just want to feel, i want to BE. i guess i will clarify something for you really quick. i am a virgin and i think it is sad. it is so sad for me, like this is the actual opposite of what i want lmao. and i am not all about romance so i couldn’t tell you why this is. i definitely don’t think i’m any sort of hot, but i know i’m not horribly ugly so idk i know the reason honestly, but that will have to be another story for another day.  when i say virgin i also mean in the physical sense, i know for a fact i am more experienced than quite a few people i know. yet again, this will have to be saved for another day lol sorry.

this will be my outlet i think.

 

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